Loss

I've struggled with the loss of a parent for as long as I can remember. Many of you may not know that I lost my "Daddy" in a drowning accident when I was just 2 years old. I guess I mourn more because I didn't get the opportunity to know him in this life. I know loss is different for everyone, but every time I have to watch friends go through the experience it brings those emotions to the surface again.

A classmate of mine lost his wife this Sunday - she was only 38. He is way too young to be a widower with 4 children - 3 still at home. His daughter is one of Shelby's best friends & he is Seth's basketball coach. My kids just think their family is great. I know I can only imagine what it is like to lose a spouse, but I think I have a very good idea of what those kids will go through. My heart just aches for them. I got to know her a little and enjoyed the association we had. I got to sit with her at a summer ball tournament this year and visit - she was excited for the group of boys that will be playing this season. She was so good to the boy's on the team - dinners at her home, kids calling her husband, watching game film in her family room, following the team all over the map, dealing with parents, and most importantly sharing her husband's time with the boys. I know how much time they spend on and off the court - the wifes of these coaches are very generous. She spoke of how excited she was to have the boys in their new home - & theater room to watch game film - she was always kind and loved giving Seth a bad time. I was standing outside the TMS gym when the cheerleader list was posted last spring. When she found out her daughter had made the team, there were instant tears of joy. I jokingly asked if there were tears because she now had to deal with a cheerleader. She just said how much she wanted her to make the team - she was so thrilled that her girl had done it - had accomplished what she set out to do. She wanted the best for her kids.

Today is the funeral at noon. I dread going, but know we need to be there. Today we will mourn a life that just seems to be cut too short. My heart is just breaking for this young family. It brings back all the emotions in me - feelings that I don't want to feel. I don't know how people get through days like today without the gospel. It is the only way that I can stay sane through these kind of experiences. I know the Lord's plan is in place for a reason - that there is a life after this earthly existence. I feel so many days like I fall short of what I should be doing, but keep pushing on with a faith that my Heavenly Father understands me and loves me. Forty years after losing my father, the emotions are surfacing and painful on days like today. I know it will all be o.k. - I know that I will get the chance to know him. I have been blessed with a wonderful family. My mother married again and I have a Dad that has been so good to me. Life is good - I have a fantastic family. I have a husband that I love and 4 remarkable kids that fill my life with joy. Someday we will understand theses experience and the pain that we have to endure in this life. It will all be worth it. Please just say a prayer for the Bergholms today - that they will find peace through the gospel and be able to carry on.